Weddi-quette Wednesday

Do you ever look around and catch yourself in the comparison game? She has the best clothes, they have the best marriage, she has the best job, they have the nicest house, they go on the best trips etc, etc, etc. The list is endless. Gosh, sometimes it can be exhausting! At what point did we decide that we didn’t have enough? That our lives didn’t measure up? That everyone else had what we deemed necessary? Its pretty twisted to think about, when you stop to think about how little most people actually do have. I think it’s an easy trap to fall into, I will feel better if only….

I’ve read a few very uplifting things lately, also been doing some soul searching and along with all of that three words continue to resonate. You are enough.

People often times have zero clue what is actually going on in your life, what is happening behind closed doors and what you’re feeling at any given time. Its pretty hard to compare yourself to others when you have no idea what their actual circumstance is, its also pretty hard to judge someone’s choices, for the same reason. Everyone has “stuff”, some people have more than others, some people deal with it gracefully and some people have no clue how to handle themselves.

When you’re in a relationship, especially a serious one, like a marriage, things come up. Things that need to be dealt with. You no longer just have your own stuff to deal with. You’ve made the commitment to deal with someone else’s too. Its no real secret that I’ve had a difficult year in terms of my career. I’ve had an amazing year in every single other aspect, but this has been like a dark cloud hanging over me. I’m sure that my husband didn’t want to hear me complain about the same things, I’m sure he didn’t bargain for the less then positive version of me that he married, and pregnancy hormones only made things worse, but he was steady and patient. He knew that one day I would come out of it (or I am sure prayed hard for that haha) I’m very good at placing blame on myself, often times for no reason. I will blame myself for others actions, I will blame myself for the way someone else is choosing to treat me, I will blame blame blame, until I feel like I’m good at just about nothing. My confidence is shot. I find myself wishing for that thing that would make me feel better.

Here’s the funny thing, the only thing that is going to make me feel better is me. I can’t change the way other people perceive me or choose to treat me. All I can do is treat people with kindness and compassion. All I can do is put my best foot forward. All I can do is continue to work on the relationship and things I really care about. I know I’ve chatted a lot about positivity and being thankful on this blog, I think that is one of the biggest secrets in life, once you figure out you are in control of all of that, life feels a lot more bearable. It feels more controlled. It also shows you pretty quickly that you are enough, you do enough and you have enough. People can think whatever they want about you, at the end of the day, you are who matters.

I don’t know if anyone reading this post today is having one of those days, but if you are, I’m telling you, you are enough.