Honesty

As you all know, from previous posts, motherhood has changed my life in the best possible way. I love my little buddy more then I could ever comprehend. Motherhood has changed my day to day, my attitude around a lot of things, the way I eat, sleep and socialize. One of the biggest things that has changed, is my body.

I've never been a person that is super self conscious all the time. I would say I have the same body issues as most girls. For the most part I eat relatively well, got some exercise (walking totally counts!) and feel good about myself. Something I never took the time to consider was, in less then a year I feel like I have a whole new body.

The first time I noticed changes was, of course, when I was pregnant. I ate well, took my vitamins, tried to walk as much as possible, I used all of the oils and lotions, but the dreaded stretch marks still got me! I remember walking into my bedroom, almost in tears because I'd found a ton of them, seemingly over night. I never truly thought I would care about something so vain, but pregnancy is a funny thing. Everything happens so quickly, its like you don't really have time to comprehend that everything is changing. I'm also sure that hormones do not help these situations. My husband sat me down on the bed and comforted me in the perfect way, he reminded what was happening, he reminded me what this was all for and it was then and there that he decided we would forever call those dreaded, angry, red scars, "mommy marks". Since that conversation my body has had a million other changes, I feel like I find new ones every day! For the first little while I felt a sadness wash over me, again, I really don't know why. I would avoid mirrors, I would've showered in the dark if I wasn't so dang exhausted. I just didn't feel like me.

The day I removed my last bandage from my c-section scar I forced myself to look in the mirror. I felt beat up, sleepy and sore. As I looked at myself I realized something, yes I look very different then 10 months ago, but I felt like superwoman. For months my body created, nurtured, protected and grew a little life. It gave my son exactly what he needed, when he needed it. I was tired because he got my energy, my gums bleed because he needed calcium, I had killer heartburn because he was growing that gorgeous head of hair. I made a person. And as sucky as I sometimes feel, as much as I sometimes pine for my pre-pregnancy wardrobe, Jack just needs to grab my finger, snuggle in closer or the very best, smile at me. In those moments I remember I am someone's Mommy, I have the privilege of watching this little boy grow, learn, laugh, play and someday create a life of his very own.

So I am embracing this new body that gave me everything, I am making a promise here and now that I will lovingly take care of and allow healing time for this body that took such good care of my babe, no more getting down on myself. I hope women everywhere look at those stretch marks, extra weight, loose tummy's, sore boobs and tired faces and celebrate, because I certainly am.

The last full pregnant shot!