Weddi-quette Wednesday

Since wedding season is almost upon us, I thought it would be a very fitting time to discuss obligations when it comes to being in a wedding party. Mainly, do you have to say yes? It seems you hit a point in your mid-twenties and you get invited to or invited to be a part of a ton of weddings. Getting asked to be in a wedding party, no matter what the level- bridesmaid, maid of honor, groomsmen, usher, best man, emcee, ceremony participant, doesn’t matter, it’s an honour! The tricky thing is, sometimes you get asked to be in a few at once and that can be very taxing, not to mention, very expensive. If you’re asked to be in a wedding party, the expectation is that you will assist in the throwing the events, which could include a Jack & Jill, Shower, Bachelor/Bachelorette Party and bridal brunch. The couple may chose not to participate in all of these events, but there is a good chance one or two will occur. On top of that you will need gifts, outfits, hair and make-up. It can really end up being a lot of time, money and energy.

There are two things to really consider here, one, when selecting your wedding party, try to remember all of these things. There are definitely ways you can keep costs down, but do remember it’s a big commitment and as flattering as it is to be asked, sometimes it’s just not in the cards. Ask people you’re really sure about, people who mean the most to you and you genuinely couldn’t imagine your day without them being such a big part. Ask people who support you as a person AND as a couple, this is key. This is what a wedding party is all about, that extra source of love as you gear up for one of the biggest days in your life. So choose wisely.

The other consideration is for the person being asked. You do not have to say yes. I know, it’s a crazy thought, but trust me, if you are really stuck for time and cash, honesty is the best policy. Your friend or family member is going to understand. It’s a really hard decision to make, especially as a girl I’d say. Other girls can be really mean! So even if you tell the bride your situation and she insists you join in anyways, pitching what you can, where you can, there is a good chance some of the other girls will talk. It’s a tough spot to be in, hey mean girls, you have no idea what someone’s situation truly is, so zip it.

In both of these scenarios honesty really is the best policy. If you’re not going to be able to ask someone for whatever reason, but you think they’re expecting to be in your bridal party, talk to them about it. Tell them you’re keeping it small or you’re just having family etc. If you’re asked and really don’t think you can handle it for whatever reason, tell her, explain your situation. If they're really as important to you as you think (which they should be in you're inviting them or have been invited to be a part of such a huge thing!) then they will understand. If they don't then they're just not who you thought they were and better to find out now! You can’t get mad at honesty people. And if someone does, send them my way…I’m hormonal, I’ll give them a good dose of reality. Its not easy following your heart sometimes, but its always the best route.

I hope this helps answer some of your questions and concerns about this tricky situation!

This is directed to those mean girls! And just a good reminder for everyone, everyday!