the wedding girl: Happiness

Its official I feel older, which means I should feel wiser, right?! I know I'm not old, so save all of the eye rolling, but for some reason 26 feels different and its not just my sassy new outfit, boots and watch!

In an effort to continue being honest in this space I would like to admit that I have not had an easy time of it lately. Life feels like it is stacking up and I am slowly drowning. It doesn't help that certain areas of my life feel extra overwhelming and have a funny way of making me sad. It is really easy to let that one area of my life take over and just bring me down immediately. I know since I am still a newlywed you may be thinking this has something to do with my marriage, definitely, 100% has nothing to do with that, if anything that has been my saving grace. Allow me to explain…

Since these feelings been going on I've been trying to figure out the right answer, what can I do to change the situation and bring back the positivity. After a lot of overthinking here is what I've come up with, everything is a choice. I know that sounds cliché but seriously, what you do, say, act and feel, all choices. You can choose to let something upsetting take over and ruin everything else or you can choose to tell yourself to breath and remember the good. The very best choice I have made in a long time was reading this article. Everything I've talked about and believe about marriage is wrapped in this one little article, an article I wasn't even going to read because I thought it would be sad. Getting married was something I always knew I wanted, always. I've felt very different from most people, often times I feel lonely, so I always knew that when I met that special person things would change. In the 5 months that I have been a wife I've learned a lot. You can live with someone, be in a long term relationship, think you're basically married, but in all honesty being married feels different. It up's the ante in a big way, this other person is your family now, its you and them. Going through a struggling time in another area of my life has taught me one huge lesson, its ok to depend on someone else, in fact you absolutely should, especially if they are your husband or wife. The article was completely about marriage not being for you and its not, its about putting the other person first. One of the things that has always intrigued me is how married people remain happy. I grew up with parents that stayed married, which could truly go either way this day in age, but the biggest lesson I ever learned from them is the last person you're here for is you. That is the only way to make a marriage and family work, the only way. I've asked other successful married couples the same question, "what's your secret?" and the answer is always the same.

If you think about it, life just feels more satisfying if you're doing things for others. Take something small like Christmas, my favorite part about the holiday's is looking for the perfect gift for someone, knowing that they will appreciate that I really thought about what they might like. Seeing their face when they open their gift. Think about how satisfying life could be if you always thought that way.

25 was a HUGE year for me, married, new job, new house…that’s a lot. And every single day of our short married life, mr. wedding girl has surprised me. Don’t get me wrong, he was a wonderful boyfriend and fiance, wouldn't have married him otherwise, but as a husband- this guy has surpassed whatever picture I had in my head. It’s the little things, like listening to me vent for the millionth time, attempting to help me find a solution, giving me a much needed hug, sending that quick how's your day text, letting me pick the show for TV night, bringing me a tea at work. It’s the little things that equal true happiness.

So this year, when I walked downstairs on my birthday morning and saw pink balloons, flowers, presents and my favorite breakfast waiting for me, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I get it. Not every part of your life will be perfect all the time, but if you choose to look at the most important part, being your family, if you choose to focus most of your energy and love there, its going to be ok, in fact its going to be great! It was a very simple thing he did for me, he listened, the took the time to think about what would put a smile on my face and he did it. Yesterday was a perfect day, doing things that I loved, spending time with people I love and feeling spoiled with beautiful gifts. Nothing over the top, just perfect. I struggled all day with how to say thank you, because I don't even think that he gets how much I appreciated it. So this is my thank you to him and to pass along a gentle reminder to people that if you do things for others, karma will get you back. Doing things for others is what it is all about, that and truly appreciating the little things in life= happiness, according to this wedding girl anyways.

Happy Monday everyone and if you read that whole post, thank you. :)