One of the components of MSW (Martha Stewart Weddings) was a "Destination Weddiquette" Article. I was a bit surprised since I genuinely thought I was so smart for coming up with the term weddiquette, clearly I did not and all of my dreams were shattered. Anyways, moving along, there were some really great questions that got answered in the magazine, I would like to summarize and share them with all of you!
When should I let single friends and family members know they can bring a date to my destination wedding?
Alright, invitations always seem to be one of the trickiest areas for a wedding. You can always invite more people later but you should never uninvite someone, because a destination wedding requires travel it's always best to give your guests as much of a heads up as possible. Send out invites at least 6 months prior to the wedding! Let's face it, this is going to require more organization and cash for your guests, so the more heads up the better! As usual, state plainly on the invite (with or without) guest. People are not going to bring some random they just started dating to a destination wedding. So you shouldn't get as much confusion surrounding this, as you would with a regular wedding.
My Dad insists that we have to cover guests' travel and lodging. What are we really responsible for?
Martha writes, "when it comes to who pays for what, a wedding in Fiji is no different than one in your own backyard. Airfare, lodging, and meals (except for the reception of course) are your guests responsibility. Pitch whatever you can to help their expenses though. If your venue is a pricey resort, for instances, search for cheaper options nearby."
Obviously people will not come if they can't afford it, as much as that might suck, at the end of the day it was your decision to have a destination wedding, so that is something that must have already crossed your mind. Hopefully all of your loved ones will be able to attend, if so, as Martha states, you are certainly not on the hook to pay for the whole deal. However, you can try to pick up the tab places, arrange for transportation, spend what you can, where you can. Everyone will really appreciate it!
Can I have my out-of-town wedding on a holiday weekend?
Martha has a great rule of thumb on this one! "As long as it's not a biggie like Christmas or Passover. Less high profile holiday's, like labour day, are fair game." Sometimes, depending on how far out of town the wedding is, let's say Muskoka, people would appreciate you doing it that weekend, that means no time off work!
My friends and family are already spending a ton to travel to Israel for our wedding. Is it rude to register for gifts? And for those who don't buy us anything, is it appropriate to send a thank you note for coming?
"It is true that destination weddings will require your nearest and dearest to ante up more cash. However, most of them will still want to get you a little something and will look to your registry for guidance." Try registering for smaller items, this way, even if people can't make the wedding and still want to send you a little something it's reasonable!
"As for thank you notes, only write them for the guests that got you a present. A letter mailed could come off as a passive aggressive gift request." Instead you could do a nice gesture, such as having a little welcome note and basket in each room. Ensure all of your guests feel the same amount of warmth and sincerity about how happy you are they've made the trek!
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| A Destination Wedding in Paris! J'adore. |
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