Dear Jack,

I'm finding this space is the easiest place to keep all of my thoughts, while I have no clue what methods of social media my sweet boy will be using in the future, I hope he reads my blog. I think it will give him good insight to the kind of lady his momma was when he was born and who she was long before that!

I've had a lot of time to think about the things I want to teach Jack, the man he turns into relies hugely on the kind of person I plan on raising. So here is what I want him to know...

Dear Jack,

First off, you are the most incredible gift I have ever been given. I thank God each and every day that he picked me to be your Mommy. This is by far the most important and wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I've heard how lucky Jack is to have such a caring Mom, I'm the one whose lucky though, buddy. I get the chance to know and raise such a perfect little guy. There are some very important things you need to know.

The two most important things you can aspire to be in this life are kind and happy. I truly don't care about anything else, I don't care how many sports you play, what universities or colleges you get into, how much money you make or who you chose to marry. I care if you do the right thing. I care if you're the type of person people want to be around, the type of person that puts a smile on other people's faces. I care if you pick a career and a wife that makes you happy, not someone else. I care that you try your best and meet your potential, that does not include the potential someone else has in mind, its the potential you have in your heart. You will always know, deep down inside, if you're doing the right thing, listen to that voice, that voice is right 100% of the time.

Never ever bully. This is not ever going to be tolerated. I hope that I raise you to be the guy that stands up for those who are not strong enough to stand up for themselves. Everyone is different and has insecurities, picking on those things will never make you feel better, in fact, they will make you feel worse. Building other people up and finding the good will make you feel better.

Looks are not even close to everything. When you're making friends or dating (heaven help me!) remember that it really is what's inside that counts most. Find people that make you laugh until it hurts, that like the same things as you and that value you! Because I have a feeling you're going to be pretty great. Looks fade, laughter doesn't.

There will be times where you feel alone, where you feel confused and hurt, you will have your heart broken and have to make hard decisions. This is all part of life, my love. In these instances I hope that I have done a good enough job to let you know you can always, always come to me. I will do my best to give you advice, not judge and be a sounding board. If nothing else I will give you the best hug, because sometimes, all you need is a hug from your Mom.

I hope you continue to be inquisitive and I hope you have a sense of wonder. I am watching only the beginning right now, watching you learn how to sit up on your own, grab a toy, figure out who people are, for the record, you definitely know who I am, you don't like to be away for too long. You love bright things, you love your giraffe Percy and you love to hold on to anything you can wrap your sweet, chubby little fingers around. I hope you continue to discover things, good things, like books because stories can transport you anywhere, good food (be more adventurous then your Dad and I) and most importantly the world. Your Dad and I love to travel, we haven't even scratched the surface, we are going to raise you to see new places and have new experiences, even if its a small town an hour away from home. Finding new places is exciting, visiting somewhere new presents a magic that only getting off a plane can make you feel.

Most importantly, love and be open to being loved, because there is nothing better. I look at you and wonder how my heart can even hold this much love. I hold you close on walks, smelling your sweet baby smell and feel like my heart is going to explode, seriously, how did I get so lucky? I've only known you a few short months, I am sure there will be a million other important things I want you to know, but these are the things I've been telling you so far. Yes, I talk to you about these things, I am aware you're still little and don't know what I'm saying, but who knows?

I love you so much Jack and I hope you have the most amazing life.

Love Mommy xo

Life with a newborn.

What day is it? What time is it? When was the last time I ate? How much caffine is too much? What's that smell? What am I wearing? No, seriously, what's that smell? Did I remember to brush my hair? Makeup? What's that? Those are really just a few of the questions I ponder on a daily basis. My little peanut is a round the clock job, which I'm sure is news to no one. Honestly though, being a new parent is really just one of those things you have to live through to truly grasp. Its no secret I've been heavily neglecting my blog, I haven't even be keeping up on reading my favorite blogs or reading in general! Life has changed significantly and while I find myself wondering how the days seem to pass so quickly, sometimes so quick I don't even have time to get out of my jammies! They are so, so sweet.

Some days I genuinely wonder what I accomplished other then keeping my little nugget happy. Cleaning the bathroom, making dinner, grocery shopping, laundry...these all seem like pretty easy tasks on there own. They were all tasks I thought I would have ample time to handle as a stay at home mom. Hello! Newsflash - sometimes I should just be happy to make it to the bathroom without peeing my pants. 

I like to think I have things all under control some days, I trick myself into believing we've got a bit of a schedule thing going...I'm sure if Jack could laugh in my face he would. We all know whose calling the shots here. 

When I was pregnant, I was so nieve, seriously, so dumb. I honestly thought I would have time to shower, get dressed AND do my hair if I wanted too. Whatever man, I was at home, with a baby, pretty much the best thing ever, that was not going to be tough. AHAHAHA bless you pregnant Jessica, bless you. You sweet, stupid girl. This will be way harder then you thought, definitely harder then going to work every day, your commute may be shorter but the job is so much harder, however its also way more rewarding.

So here is a little message to all of those brand new mom's, ladies thinking about having babies, Mom's who've done this before but are doing it all over again and conveniently forget the craziness. THIS IS INSANE. No joke, you don't sleep, you have to eat whatever you can whenever you can, drink crazy amounts of water, embrace that faint puke smell that follows you around and be OK with the fact that, lets face it, you've looked better. But you're a Mom, which is so incredibly amazing. Seriously...it is worth all of that shit. I mean reading that last paragraph sounds insane, it does, who would you do that for?! Not an employer, that's for sure, but I can guarantee you, you'd do it for your kids. I would literally do anything for this little guy.

So pat yourselves on the back ladies, you're doing the hardest job out there and you're kicking ass. Even if it feels like you aren't, even if you don't get a raise or get to go out for fancy lunches. You get smiles and drooled on! Even if you don't get to dress up or drink your morning coffee in peace. You get to wear matching outfits with your new bestie and snuggle why drinking a cold tea you made 3 hours ago. Seriously, wouldn't trade it for the world. I will try to be better with this whole blog thing, I promise - Jack and I are on a schedule now, ya know. 

Falling In Love

OK, I so don't want to be that Mom, but I can't help it, I am completely head over heels in love with my baby! People swear up and down you can never know true love until you have a child of your own, they tell you before you're pregnant, but they really sell that too you while you're pregnant, probably to lessen the sting of what you experience to bring that little miracle into the world. The thing is, not only could I stare at my son for hours in complete amazement, but watching your husband love something as firecely as you do makes your heart do complete flip flops.

Every day I see a new side to Jack's personality, its incredible watching this tiny human that just slept and ate for so long, start to develop into a little boy. Here is what I know so far; Jack LOVES the morning, he really loves 5am, you know, that hour where you think you could feed him and then catch a little bit more sleep. No, no, not in Jack's world, that's when he wants to play! And I would literally stand on my head to see him smile, so if that's when he's into doing it, then forget sleep, we're heading to the playmat.

Morning tummy time!

Jack is seriously into baths. Just like his Mommy! But don't even think about a warmish bath, no no, this kid likes it hot (not dangerous ok, sheesh!) Seriously, if the water is even slightly tepid he arches his back, as if to say "remove me from here immediately woman and try again!". He also hates being taken out of the bath...screams bloody murder. I mean hey, I also hate that moment before you get the towel on! Its icy! But chill, I'm going as fast as I can. I wish someone would swaddle me, squeeze me and dry my hair, with the accompaniment of a nice head massage. He has been a bath dude since his very first bath, which is also probably my favorite hospital memory. It was the first time I really got to hold him without all of the wires. I don't think I've ever been so excited.

Jack's first bath!

Jack really loves anything that moves. The car, his stroller, a bouncey chair. The boy is not into sitting still for long periods of time. Its pretty incredible to just walk him around the house and watch him begin to discover things, like the lights, windows, TV or anything else that catches his eye.

Jack loves to sleep with his hands above his head or holding onto something - like my hair or his own hands. This kills me, seriously, I will lay still for hours if he wants to hold my hair or hand while he sleeps. Limbs lose feeling but good god, is there anything better?

Stop this adorableness right now!

My absolute favorite Jack trait are the little faces he makes. Its like you can read his mind, while I have seen a few smiles, most faces tend to say "Mommy, I'm not sure what you're doing or saying, but I sense that I will need therapy later on in life". Oh sweetheart, if you think I'm a big embarrassing weirdo now, just wait, I can't imagine you'll think I'm much cooler as a teenager.

A face that screams you can be embarrassed by your parents no matter what age.

Its funny the things you automatically do when you're a Mom. Showers are no longer relaxing experiences, but more of a race all while trying to remind your little one that he's not been left in the house alone. Doesn't popping your head out every 30 seconds and saying "Jack, Mommy's right here buddy! Look over here!Yooohoooo" sound tranquil? Other fun mom things I've discovered are catching vomit with your hands....with. your. hands. Why that is now a natural reaction is beyond me, but anyone that is willing to be spit up on, peed and pooped on and really not be phased, must be infatuated. Possibly my favorite momism is what comes out of my mouth. Have I developed a brand new language in the last 3 months? What on earth does toastie woastie mean?! While I can't quite translate, I do say it every time I bundle him up. How about when I call him beeboo...what the heck is that?! I have no reasoning people, it just comes out of my mouth.

The last three months have been so awesome and I know the discoveries have just begun. Before I know it he will be sitting up and rolling over! I'm secretly (not so secretly since I am currently announcing it to the world) dreading the day this boy starts moving on his own...I fear he will never stop!

All kidding aside, Jack, if you ever read this, my boy, you have provided me with the most amazing, joy filled three months. I can't wait to continue to watch you grow!